Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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