i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
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I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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