No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
