you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
