dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
