those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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