u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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