Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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