She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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