I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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