He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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