somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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