I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
