Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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