Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
