Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
