i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
