This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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