I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
