you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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