mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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