Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
