i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
