Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
