im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
