so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
