OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
