bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't deserve a penis
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
