I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
