yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
