Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
