Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
