dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
