Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
