These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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