I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
50% drunk capacity currently
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
