It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she peed on how many people?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
