Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
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