He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
