I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Damn victory sex feels great
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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