I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I love having hate sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
