I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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