Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize