I'm so fucking centered right now
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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