I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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