happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize