I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
