i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
