they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm too high and old for this...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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