Screwed.edu
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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