i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
