that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
