the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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