good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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