I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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