At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
