OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
