How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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