So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
