ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
